Well, that’s my first psychoanalysis session done and dusted. I was nervous to start, however, the relaxing hypnosis session at the beginning definitely reduced my anxiety. It’s true that consenting to hypnosis does elicit a fear of losing control, in my case anyway, despite my understanding of the processes involved ie. your conscious mind can always call a halt to the session and won’t buy into any suggestions that are not right for the individual. I should mention at this point that my goal is to merely explore the origins of my(self) with a view to managing unhelpful behaviours and patterns of thought that continue to haunt me despite my best efforts to rationalise and reorganise.
The script used by my analyst was The Wise Old Man (which can be found and purchased here). It was a pleasant imaginary journey that concludes with a silent and mental communication with whomever you choose to confide in. I found this exercise empowering and the memory of what occurred remains vivid and most importantly, private to me.
Following this rather pleasant journey, free association was introduced, whereby I was gently invited to follow wherever my thoughts took me. This does feel rather odd at first and at times I did find myself feeling a tad self-conscious. However, for the most part, I felt relaxed and surprised at the images and thoughts that came to mind.
It is only now, a few hours after today’s session, that I find myself reflecting on the content uncovered. There are clearly themes to my recollections (mostly childhood in origin) and none that come as a great shock. I had prepared myself to feel exposed and similarly vulnerable to my unconscious insights but find myself with a greater sense of clarity and optimism. There was a sense of resistance at times, which was at once both reassuring (I really did have control!), and frustrating in that they precluded me from venturing further. I understand that these intermittent reflexes are most likely my conscious mind signalling that the way ahead may be bumpy. I am intrigued and hope to venture further as therapy progresses…..